Thinking back 3 years ago when my hubby & I decided to terminate our Confinement Nanny's services after her 2 weeks with us; it still feels surreal. It was a difficult decision for both of us to make because it was so so so unconventional to be without a confinement nanny.
We were not even sure if we would regret the decision of asking her to leave and then where would we find help? We both knew that our families wont be able to give any form of help nor support. It was on one hand of having someone around whom we know by matter of fact was not helping us that much, and on another hand, the fear of 'What Ifs'.
Fast forward 3 years now, due to Covid19, it is so difficult to even get a nanny of your own choice. Times have changed and it is not easy for Malaysia Nannies to come over and even if there are nannies here in Singapore, there are extra paperwork and money to give because the nannies will need a longer term pass to keep staying in Singapore legally.
Because of Covid 19, we have been forced to changed so many old ways of doing things. And post-natal confinement is not spared too. There are in fact many options available out there to help mommies get through confinement on their own. Not mentioning the Pro-tip that you do get to save more money doing your own Confinement!
So, the question now is how can we and can we replace the Roles of a Confinement Nanny? For most parts, it is really these few reasons why people need a nanny.
a) You need someone to teach you how to be hands-on with your baby.
What You Can Do:
Go for Antenatal Course! It is an effective way to learn how to handle your baby and be completely proficient! Sign Up here for our Antenatal Course which allows your access to the videos of the course if you need refresher post-birth!
b) You need to recuperate. While you rest, the nanny will take care of the baby.
What You Can Do:
Honestly, if you are a breastfeeding mom, whether you have a Confinement Nanny or not, you will need to wake up in the wee hours to do some mommy duties. The rule of" Sleep whenever the baby sleeps" will be your mantra even post 30 days!
c) The nanny will help to do some simple chores, to maintain cleanliness of baby sleeping area and of cuz to lighten some workload for chores.
What You Can Do:
Oh well, get someone else to worry about this! A part-time helper to come clean the house is great way for any household who do not have a FDW. Arrange a part-time helper to come do general cleaning once or twice a week is a good way to start. Most importantly, if you dont like your Part-Time Helper, you have nothing to worry about because you can ask her not to come to your place anymore. And ya! Prepare a lot of changing clothes, so that you are not short of clothes to change mid-week and have to do your own laundry.
d) You need to eat right. And the nanny should be cooking the right confinement dishes, the tea, prepping the confinement herbal bath for you.
What You Can Do:
There are tons of confinement Ting-Kat out there for you choose. It comes with the Daily recovery soups and the red dates drink! Most importantly, they will give you the menu in advance. You don't need to worry if you have a Nanny who is really not too great in cooking.
Doing confinement on our own is one of the best decision for my hubby and I. Because we do not have to worry about if the nanny is good or bad, suitable or not. I wont forget how my first Nanny was a bad cook. She was sleeping and resting more than my hubby and I. We had to be thick-skin to tell her to help do some light chores like washing our baby's clothes.
There are a lot of hidden logistics to have a confinement nanny. My Nanny insisted she could only used a certain height of stool to show my baby, requested us to buy her favorite crackers and she finished them in an blinking of an eye. And whether I like it or not, I still need to give 2 red packets apart from the hefty salary and hope she will be nice and professional to our baby.. For me as a first-time mom, I really just wanted to focus on my newborn and not cater to the needs of my nanny. It made me feel stress instead.
As a first time parent, there will be a lot of things for you to absorb, get used to, to learn... Everything in your first 30 days is like a live crash course on 'how to survive as a new parent'. It is not easy. Even if you are a mom for the 2nd time or this is your 5th pregnancy, it does not get easier.
The best thing I would share that I experienced doing all my confinements with my hubby was; we learn to be flexible, we learn to work our relationship. We learn to set time for ourselves, give and take. We have delegated duties, we do not try to overwork ourselves and we do still try to have some LIFE. We rediscovered each other's NEW-FOUND' talents in changing dirty diapers. showering our babies and dozing off while expressing breastmilk in the middle of the night. Most of all, we forged a great significant bond with each and every of our children. And that, is gold and can never replaced.
You will find yourself in many challenging situations but you will not be alone. And it is true to whether or not you have a Confinement Nanny. There are many mommies who cried literally when their nannies had to leave them because confinement period was up and their babies have forged a stronger relationship with the nannies than to the parents. Or the mommies have no idea how to handle the baby. These are situations which could we avoided if we would still stay involved.
So the question of; can you still have rest, recuperate, bond with baby, and have a smooth confinement? YES!
For me, those DIY confinement were precious moments. We never knew we could handle our confinement with no help but we did it. And all is well.
Drop me a DM if you have more questions on how to do your own confinement without a nanny. Or go onto our waitlist for our next webinar (1 hour) to learn about the things you need to know Post-Natal! From Baby Care to Mommy Care! And importantly on how you can have a stress-free DIY self-confinement care.
Till then!