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The Secret Why Some Husbands Are More Involved Fathers

We all know Antenatal courses have been around for the longest time. In almost every hospitals, you will find baby care courses to prepare a new parent. And of cuz, there are those private Antenatal coaches; some specializing in Hypnobirthing, and most on the standard Infant Care topics and some would provide breastfeeding as one of the classes.

Obviously, you know most women have some sort of a motherly instincts. It is like cradling a baby or giving a baby infant warmth should sound like second nature. It is a different thing when it comes to our husbands right? To begin with, if you have one who will be willing to go on a parenting course with you, I would say you've got yourself a nice guy.

Most of such parenting courses seemingly targeted on the moms but really it is the woman compelling the husband to participate and hopefully when the real baby arrives, the husband can be a useful help.

The thing about attending an Antenatal Course is that it feels good attending it together with your spouse. Psychologist have discovered that our husbands are so visual that before your baby arrives physically into the world, they prolly 'feel nothing yet'. And hence, it is also said that babies all look like their fathers at the initial phase when they are born so that our hubbies can relate to their newborns. Really?! Yup, with this in mind, an antenatal course with your husband definitely wouldn't hurt. Both of you get to do some bonding and get some hands-on practice before your baby comes along.

The challenges with going for Antenatal classes these days are for one; the Covid19. As long as the virus is here, it will be difficult for most physical classes to happen. Though some hospitals, and private coaches are are trying out Online Zoom and to pivot;- it is not going to be easy for them as classroom-style has always been their thing for the longest time.

Ever since I became mom, I realized that after all the classes, the mommy brain is real. You wont remember most things you learn in a physical setting. Amongst me and other mommies, we agree that we do forget some of the things which we have learnt and we fell back to googling when we were attempting to do things like; showering our babies.

And the lack of follow-up and support is what most mothers lack isn't it? Honestly to learn is one, but to remember what we learn and to be truly hands-on takes time, practice and experience. And from practice to gaining experience? It is a lot of human support, a community for you to not just ask technical questions about your baby but to have real people who feel you.

My hubby & I never had any kind of help since day one when we were new parents. Every thing we did, we tried, we had to try googling, figure it out. The past few years, I discovered these two following pointers to be really important. One, is a hands-on hubby. Simple things like washing my breast pumps, changing the babies, clearing those smelly diapers etc... greatly complements to what I had to do as a new mom. My hubby's gestures definitely do make me feel we were more like a team, and obviously will take away simple arguments like 'hey, you did not help.' or to hear my hubby tell me 'I don't know what I supposed to do'. Such moments are why Antenatal courses are great. Secondly, a strong support system. Support can be a group of your friends, or to some are their family members. No matter what kind of support you have, I have found in that Support Group, you will need a) having some experienced mothers who have given birth not too long ago or an antenatal expert, and b) some peers who are going through the same parenthood phases are most perfect.

I remembered, when my 2nd baby was born straight into the NICU because he had immature lungs, it was not easy to have it wrap around our heads all the things we have already learnt. Suddenly, you got to do things differently. I didn't get to see him when I woke from my C-section, no latching could be done. And I felt pressurized to get some colostrum (first milk) from my breasts to give it to my baby. For the first 7 days, no latching, no carrying, no skin-to-skin. I gave birth and went home without my baby boy. And I endured my C-section wound everyday to go down to the hospital to see him. Phew!

Those were moments, my husband and I felt so perplexed and tired and hopeful but also had to battle with our fears. Although we were not first-time parents but the experience is too new for us. And we really could use some support & prayers.

Now that I am a mom of 3 super young children, I know the struggle is real. Hence I founded Bump Birth & Beyond. It is a fully online facility which provides new parents or refresher parents with the Top THREE Things i did not have as a first-time parent. Firstly, the holistic range of Parent-Preparation Classes from Labor, Baby care, and Breastfeeding. We even have a professional expert to teach new moms on Postpartum Nutrition. All of these at a very reasonable price. Our new mommies simply do not have to choose as the variety of Topics as they are found in the portal and they can decide which strikes a chord in them and they simply go through the class at the comfort of their homes, in their beds, with their husbands.

Secondly, Bump Birth & Beyond have their Lessons Follow-Through, Post-birth 'How are you' call, and a Parent Starter Tutorial Box.

One might worry that attending classes online on their own brings about a disconnect. We understand this. Hence, we have our Live Lesson Follow-Through to keep track on the learning progresses of each parent & to allow asking of questions. And we give real support, each momma will receive a personal check in call from us because we want to know that our new parents are doing just fine. We give a Parent Starter Tutorial Box which includes, a soft training doll, swaddles, diapers, and a romper to allow our parents have some real hands-on with our tutorial videos.

Last but not least, - hey now your husband has no more excuse to not attending Antenatal classes with you anymore right? Studies have found that the more involved our husbands, the less mommies are prone to postpartum depression. And now, our husbands can be more involved and knowledgeable when it comes to the changes & pain in our breasts & breastfeeding simply because both of you can learn privately from home, and at bay from the exposure of Covid19. And not forgetting that if you and your hubby have forgotten what you have learnt, ya'll can get your access on our online portal for some refresher.

So, what's not to love with this new kid on the block? (as featured on Sassymama SG) Find us here and perhaps join us for a free online live breastfeeding class here.


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