3 Kinds of In-Law Relationships. 80% Belongs To Point No. 3!
There are 3 kinds of Mother-in-law relationships. Which one are you???
This is a picture of my son with his god-grandma. This is only his 2nd time seeing her. And first time at her house. But... he seemed very fond of her.
1. You are super close to your MIL
I know of a couple of people. They have absolute good relationship with their mother-in-laws. And there are always reasons to that.
Your mother-in-law treats you exceptionally well and is not controlling.
The key is great treatment but not controlling or bossing about your affairs. You have 100% control over your own affairs with 'her' son and yet she buys you gifts/ or meals, esp; during your pregnancy term.
Also, usually such in-laws are the well-to-do. Meaning, they at the least are self-sufficient. They honestly would not be asking or looking forward for strong financial dependance on you and your hubby. In fact, she can even agree to sponsor a trip together.
Such relationships are usually so successful that you usually can stay with them in the same house with little to no conflict.
2. You are not close at all.
Your relationship with your MIL is non-existent. You maintain a good space of unfamiliarity and has kept it that way. You do not have extra additional conversations, and you do not have extra contact or connection and neither have you received any form of help.
Such examples are like when your MIL doesn't prepare anything beyond standard red packets here and there for certain occasions, but does not contribute or participate during your pregnancy term, or confinement or to offer any help to care for their grandchildren.
Such shallow depth of relationship usually have not much complications because everyone remains cordial like strangers. Yet it is usually impossible to stay together under one roof because it would have complicate the 'strange' relationship.
3. You are close but you are not close. You are neither here nor there.
Such relationships are like how we often say "Agree to disagree". Personally this is one statement, I hate the most. You cannot agree to disagree. You disagree means you disagree. To agree to disagree means, I really dislike you for disagreeing and now I have to pretend that I accept it.
Alot of us belongs to those whom describes their relationships with their MIL as 'Alright', 'So-so' but coupled with a few issues which cannot be agreed. This is where the problem lies. You are not close enough to be honest, you are not 'stranger' enough to ignore.
You are in-between.
Examples of such complications is when your in-laws are caring for your children, while you are thankful that your MIL cares for your children, you also disagree with some of the methods they used to teach your children. You want to raise your point but your in-laws might find it offending. But if you do not raise the issue, you feel compromised.
Such relationships are love-hate. There are always problems here and there. And your hubby will have to be the meat in between the sandwich to mitigate what which is actually impossible when it voices down to 2 women in his life. 'Your mom vs your wife'. It is a battle the man somehow will lose no matter what.
As such, it is usually not advisable to stay together with anyone's in-laws. You can choose to stay really near but not in the same space. Because it is important to build your own culture in your own home. It usually complicates when you have someone whom feel has rich experiences to share while the other seeks for new experiences to build.
Personal values etc will become confusing in a family when 2 women tries to dominate some part of it. Or worst, most part of it.
Sadly, most of us falls in Point 3. And it plays a huge part with most bulk of our unhappiness and daily 'household issues'. Do you agree???
See you soon and signing off,