From 1 to 2

Honestly, ever since my hubby and I knew we were expecting our first baby, we always told ourselves and people around us that we only wanted 1 child.

This is a truth that until now; deep in our hearts, we might actually feel that one is quite enough for us.

During my first pregnancy, many people asked if I would have another. I always am firmed with my thoughts about my 'Just-One' Policy. I remembered a friend ever said to me; " if you ever think that having another child is for yourself then you are wrong. Having another one is for the first one." This statement merely landed at the back of my mind but really with much disbelief.

Having one baby was enough to wreck our lives. Especially for the matter that my firstborn does not sleep through the night even now at 19months old; with waking hours from hourly during bad nights, to about once or twice. Mostly, bad nights.

Our lives became topsy turvy, everything JUST HAD TO revolve around him. From being timely to pick him from school, to spending time, to his crazy throw tantrums moments, to his many viral fevers etc... all our energy in the day, all our sleep in the nights all lost in the short 1 and half years.

We really did not feel that we will ever be ready for one more child neither do we feel that we want to go through another phase of agony, especially; not knowing if our 2nd child could sleep through the night OR NOT.

Yet, as my little cannot-sleep-through-the-night and annoying-me-often baby grows, I saw the need for companionship and as such did my very best to create playdates for him with various people I know as early as when he was 6 months old.

Yet, sometimes it is difficult to find a schedule to collide and some playdates just have to be located very very far. I find it difficult to maintain playdates which also often require our one-sided proactivity to allow my son to play with other people's kids.

Seeing my little boy's ability to engage and loving to engage, breaks my heart time to time that people might not want to play with him as much as he would like to.

I thought through long and hard; considering our time, our further sacrifices, our finances, our compromised married lives, our future as a family and my son's pros and cons with a little companion.

Finally, at one point, I considered my age and the ideal age gap between siblings, I shared with my hubby that if I could get pregnant around March 2019, then we should be thankful we are blessed with another baby who will be a perfect growing companion with my little boy.

True enough, without any planning whatsoever, we really conceived at March 2019. My 2nd pregnancy has been mostly horrible and the fact that I still need to cater to my little toddler and with my thriving business making me slightly more hectic did not make it fantastic for us at most days.

While the fact that we will be expecting the arrival of our 2nd prince in the month of Oct, we are still not 100% sure of how we might manage our lives and even bring everything together. Yet, for a few couple of occasions when I brought my son to the playground, I saw him happily playing with other kids and even try to hold other kids' hands not knowing who they are, and desire to involve himself in their games always reminds me that the decision for another child is worth the sacrifice once more.

No one said it would be easy, but I am sure at some point, everything will become better. Yes, one child is enough for my hubby and I. But the 2nd baby is for my firstborn. So for people who came to me and questioned me why from 1 to 2? This is my story.

MommyClucker

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