Before we get started on the list! Happy Chinese New Year to YALL! I wish all of you a great MooMoo year with abundance and love! Of cuz, hoping that we can all resume back to some normalcy soon!
Although........ this year's new year is a tad different.... with all the new Covid regulations. But still, a lot of us still have some visiting to do!
If you are a parent, you read this and agree, share it! Let those who are not parents know what they ought to watch out for!
1. Why Is He So Shy?
I do not see any problems when my 3 year old feels shy or uncomfortable in the presence of people he is not familiar with. As our children grows older, they will learn to have social awareness. They will create their own judgement of whom they think they can or cannot trust. And it is good that they stick to us parents. It means that our young kids look upon us as pillars of protection and for comfort.
So shut up about why he is more shy, it does not make him feel comfortable in any way. It in fact will make him even more uncomfortable.
2. Hey, do not compare my children by saying; "The younger one is more outgoing".... "The which one is more xxx..."
First of all, excuse me? The younger one is waving at you because he does not know the difference between human beings! Plainly because he is just still a baby! Another 1 year plus, I guarantee you he will be as selective to whom he waves to.
2ndly, no one has the right to make comments or comparisons between my children. They are made individually unique and as a family nucleus, we are very comfortable with how our children are.
3. Stop telling my children what to do just because you think they are capable of something. "You are a big boy now, take the food yourself..." "You should this... you should that... "
The only persons I believe are given the authority to instruct my children are the Parents, the Instructors we pay for their enrichments, the Teachers who are teaching them. And I will understand why my children do not listen to you. Because they do not know you. And for young kids being unfamiliar with someone is equivalent to DO NOT KNOW YOU.
As long as you are not caregiving to my children, you are not authorized in any way or form to instruct them... not even relatives nor grandparents.
4. Offering my children foods or drinks of any kind without consulting me/ their father. Or giving it to my children and then asking them to ask for permission from their parents after is also bullsh*t.
My 3yo and 15m old are definitely too young to know what foods are good for them or which aren't good. And obviously, as their parents, we have some limitations for what they should partake. And how much they could take.
I appreciate the kind intentions but no. You may offer food & drinks to me first.
5. Respect my children's "No".
I believe in listening to the voice of preferences of my children. As young as they may be, allowing them to express likes & dislikes and learning to not force my ways or thinking on them is my way of learning to respect them while they are still young.
I actually do not think that it will be easy for a parent to suddenly 'shut their mouths' when their child grows to be in his teenage years and craves for autonomy too.
So, I will never enforce on my children to hug or kiss anyone. In fact, I do not encourage them to do neither. Generally, personal space is good, and physical touch should be avoided.
If they reject you for anything, accept it. They are little but humans too.
6. Telling me that my children can skip their naps because Chinese New Year is .... SPECIAL.
My special days are gone since my children came to my life. I am only left with special moments. And these special moments are like after they all go to bed and nap or go for their bedtime.
So... the last thing I would ever want is for my children to be overly-tired and then kick up a fuss in the car crying and melting down or have a bad night because they simply skipped their naps.
So. . . please do not say such craps to especially new parents. They need to be supported in their new journey as new parents and not be concern about if they should leave early for a gathering or not.
7. Snapping pictures of my children without permission.
Honestly, I also do not like people snapping their cameras in my face. I actually might report you to the police. If you want to have a photo taken, ask. There is no need to go snapping away. I actually really do not know what you do with the pictures. And I imagine horrible things. So...... do not...
8. Meddling into my children's chicken fights. Worst, asking my 3 yo to give in to the 15 month.
If you have been following me, you know that I teach and nurture my children entirely needs based. It means to nurture and grow them according to what they are weak in, and strong at.
So I am not a believer of the indefinite solution of asking the 3 yo give in to the 15m old. Because 15m old child also can bully 3 yo ok?! Let us the parents' handle it. We will know better.
9. Please do not tell my husband he has more white hair or my children have grown taller. Or ask us 'Whats Next?! Are you going to have another baby..." blah blah...
SIMPLY BECAUSE ... normal people will keep growing. You either grow more hair because you are young or you grow more white hair because you are maturing.
Of cuz, asking me if I will have another baby is not applicable to me because I am currently already pregnant. I am speaking up for those of you who will face the fire power of relatives and friends, asking... "when is your next baby gonna come..."
These are weather talks of the lowest quality. It is not like you are the one who is going to take care of another baby if a baby really comes along? Come on... let the couple decide.
10. Insisting my children addressing who as what and what as who. Or having to saying 'Chinese greetings' before taking red packets.
When I was a young kid, I was often pressurized by my parents esp; my father to greet people and to 'must say' thank you etc... And I was so pressurized, I often ended up crying. This is just a personality of a child. They just aren't so open. What we think is right as a parent, might not comfortable for the child at that point because he might just be too young to understand anything.
I am not saying that greeting people's unnecessary now or being polite is redundant. But I simply can empathize with my children more if they actually feel uncomfortable because they are not familiar with the people who gifted them.
And we must remember; the gifts given (whether red packets or not) are not the initiatives by the child. They are 'made' to receive eg; 'Red Packets' because it is the customary festive. And such situations are mere circumstances that compels a typical young kid to respond whether they like it or not.
Hence, my baseline is acknowledging. As long as my children acknowledges, with a smile or a soft 'Hi' or a 'Glance' it is good enough. I am not forceful to my children that they must greet all the relatives to how they traditionally should be greeted.
And if my children do not know how to say 'thanks'? I will help thank them thank you on behalf. By showing politeness is a better to teach manners than screaming at our children for not saying 'please' or 'thank you' in front of people whom they are not familiar with.
SO folks... enjoy your CNY by embracing the preferences of the parents more! And parents... share with article if it resonates with you!!!! And don't be offended if a parent tell you the above!