Daddy The Hero, Mommy The Damsel

Many of us have the privilege to grow up with a pair of parents. But not many of us have the privilege of having parents who understand and are clear of their individual roles and responsibilities at home.

No matter how cool we want to be, no matter how much we want to be anti-stereotypes, we cannot deny the natural norms. Like how mommies still make the better caregivers. I am speaking generally. If you have wife who sucks in giving care and comfort to your children, then perhaps; you are the minority.

Mothers make the best caregivers. They are detailed and delicate. They notices the little awkwardness in a child. They can smell the slightest problem. They can sooth their children with breastfeeding, cuddling. Loads of touch and kisses to our babies. And this is the original made up of a woman and what we commonly call it as ‘Maternal Instincts’.

So the question is, what does the Father do? And what do our children gather by watching and observing us? What is this term ‘Mommy’ to my son and what does ‘Daddy’ means?

Us at his Baby Dedication at Church!

We need to remember that a man cannot assume the role of a woman and neither a woman of a man. By natural law, we still perform the best at our original tasks. Surely I can carry heavy items? But it will really be nice for my Big Guy to do it for me? Surely Daddy can feed, change, shower and put my baby to bed? But it will be sweet for mommy to do the ‘shushing’...

Did you realise? Our children whether a mommy’s boy or a daddy’s girl looks up to their Father as their Hero? They look to that firm, quiet, man of few words for their exemplary WORDS and BEHAVIORS. How did Daddy solved that problem? How did Daddy treated Mommy? How did Daddy served others?

And Mommies are always people we take care of. It is a boy’s manhood instincts to protect mommy and it is the girl’s attachment to take care of that nagging mommy they used to find bothersome.

Our children are watching. They are watching not just the Daddy Mommy relationship. They are watching how Daddy works. They look up to Dads as their example. The man. The hero.

If children have a close relationship with their parents. You can hear them articulate their love in the form of their own ‘marriage’. Does it sound familiar to you when you hear your 4-year-old daughter say she wants to marry daddy? And your son wants to marry Mommy? So, what does it mean really to those children who have articulated such sentences?

It meant for a boy, - “I want to marry someone like mommy.” And to our daughters? “I want to marry someone just like Daddy.”

And we have also heard ourselves when after we grew older and we went like... “Yucks, I don’t want to be someone like my mom! Or I don’t want to grow up like my Dad.” And when we often look into the reasons behind all such statement, they are always heartbreaking experiences they have had with their particular parent. Mostly during childhood.

What does this means to me? What does this mean to us? Who we are and what we do plays a very significant role in our children’s world. When they were very young, we were their world. And what do we want their world to be filled with? A daddy who cannot be bothered in helping mommy with chores? A daddy who is always absent? A daddy always out drinking and not having boundaries with the opposite sex which disrespects Mommy? Or a nagging mommy? A mommy trying to maintain her work duties in the society and at the same time drowned with chores? Trying to keep everything together? And screaming and expressing her displeasure at home often?

What are we as parents? What are you?

My Dad was my hero. The 1st man I love. He was responsible, funny and was a very teachable man. He was a man of principles. And values. And he demonstrated love toward my mom. I see them kiss goodbye every morning. I see him back for dinners every evening. I never saw him drunk, never seen him shout at my mom. And I wanted to marry such an example.

So let’s reconsider our position as parents. Parenthood is a journey. It has all just begun for us...

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